Silent dad; tale of a not so expressive father

I know about all the rejoice over birth of male child in our society. Manipulated , criticised, scrutinized it altogether too.. And as this male grows, I have also seen how we see him with the glasses of Ghar ka aur Ghar walon ka Chirag( only hope of family and home). Ofcouse the Females need to be responsible too, but Male counterpart, every step is measured , after all, the emotional baggage of ghar sambhalna has to fall on him,  no matter how cliched it sounds and my feminist friends start to form an opinion against me, but we would still look for a well settled , good salaried ,good cultured Male for our daughters. Why not a homely ,well mannered one?

Then comes the big daddy of it all, when this Male after efficiently and monotonously doing all his designated duties becomes a Father. The hullabaloo about mommies, (Trust me, I am a guilty party too) her health, her baby, her diet, her sleep,her mood,the ever hyped hormones,her aversion to relatives, friends ,throwing weight everywhere (literally at times) I being a mother, I am an advocate of women’s rights and her comforts, I am a creature of comfort too. But right now let’s shift our focus on this Male who by now takes a back seat. He might not be having raging hormones,but definitely few emotions, so being critically examined as to how he holds his baby every time might hurt him too. Or how imperfectly he changed the last diaper,and even How can he Not know how to check the temperature of the milk in the bottle.Ever noticed that this male too might be sipping some cold tea, missing his meals, having sleepless nights, going to work without a frown and coming back home just to comfort his tired wife, or even better, to reconcile that whatever XYZ said today,they might not be meaning  to.

This Male who was rejoiced upon when born, starts spending his time contemplating what went wrong the moment his wife delivered who went in nervous ,wanting him emotionally and physically suddenly gets into the Avatar of Jhansi ki Rani, who at the mere sight of this Male looses it all. The way he sleeps ,eats ,snores, watches TV, turns off the lights, uses the restroom,or even walk, disturbs the sleeping baby. How his life,his friends ,his family are all his,and no longer Their’s. Bewildered Male, his only fault,he is not good at expressing ,and everything he tries to says or do innocently turns into an argument.

His draw back, he’s always been taught crying is for girls,leaning on a shoulder, too for them. Expressing yourself is not a manly attribute, Mard ko dard nahi hota. His conditioning has been done with such perfection that now he has completely forgotten how to put it in words that ,’ YES I KNOW THE BABY NEEDS YOU, BUT I NEED YOU TOO.’


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