After happily ever After

Rashmi didn’t even realise how these past three years just flew in front of her eyes. It seems like it was just yesterday when she met Rohit,it was more like infatuation at first sight, he was handsome,popular,almost any girl could have fallen for him,so Rashmi was no exception. And for Rohit it was lust at first sight,he had never seen a girl as uninhibited as Rashmi.  Love grew. Its always does. 

A long courtship,followed by a full Punjabi style over the top wedding. A three week honeymoon in Europe , new years in Goa,consecutive summers in Thailand. Life couldn’t have been better,they surely had found their Happily Ever After.

Suddenly Rohit walked in the room, Rashmi came out of her slumber,he was quite ,but she could sense the strain. She didn’t want him to shout as Amaira their 5 months old daughter had just gone off to sleep. ‘ Is everything OK ? ‘ He sighed,her heart missed a beat. ‘ What is it that you fail to understand, how many times do I have to tell you,that I want you to take over the responsibilities of the kitchen’, I wondered if his mother had said something. ‘ Are we asking for too much,you just have to supervise whether everything is happening at the right time.’ She didn’t have anything to say in her defence. They have gone over this conversation a million times, and that is the exact number of times she had apologised. Not that she didn’t want to be useful, but post delivery she always remained so exhausted. There was a clutter in the house,she could see it too. Unattended clothes on the sofa, Amaira’s clothes that need to be washed,her play gym still lying on their bed. But she just didn’t have the energy for all this. She knew that she is not the only woman in this world who had delivered a baby or who is taking care of her child without any help,everyone does that,but she was different,her body was different. Maybe she was taking longer to recover from postpartum fatigue. ‘ humne bhi toh bache paale hain’ didn’t go down her throat very well. At times she wanted to say, ‘Might be,but you had yours at 20 and I had mine at 30,isn’t that different.’ But couldn’t. Didn’t anyone take a notice that she doesn’t read anymore ,which was her first love. She doesn’t get a haircut when needed,her eyebrows need to be done,but she ignored it. She was the last one to get ready always. Why didn’t Rohit notice all this, that once chirpy Rashmi was now always so critical about everything.

This too shall pass,told her all her experienced friends, but why is it all happening in the first place. How difficult was it for her family to be a little patient a little compassionate towards her. She definitely was not the best daughter in law, best wife and never has she even asked  to label her as the best mom. But a little appreciation won’t hurt anyone.

She knew This too shall pass. But what she also knew was that after this passes,she won’t ever be the same. Her innocence is what she would have to let go in the process. Her uncanniness where she would say anything that her heart felt like would also have to bid her goodbye. All her actions from now on would be carefully measured,contemplated .

She was not bitter,she loved Rohit more than ever. Just now she felt she was different. Late nights with friends ,loud music,endless drives didn’t fascinate her as of now. They might in another year ,but not now. And no one understood her . NO ONE.

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