Its been over a month monsoons began in the Northern part on our country India ,and with deep regrets I have to inform you that I a mother to a toddler, who has just started going to a preschool is already sick and tired of you both.
Despite the fact that my son was administered a flu shot earlier this year, you and your family still invents newer kinds of infections to attack that poor soul. And mind you he isnt the only one. You are the talk of the town, celebrities of page3. Every new mom hates you. We detest your presence in our personal lives.
Here are a few pointers you need to look at:
Breastfed babies: general perception ,that a child who is breastfed for 6 months has a strong immunity. You are challenging our belief system. Its whimsical ,specially when our older generation throws a challenge, do mahine aur karvate toh aise na hota ( if breastfed for two more months , baby wouldnt be falling sick so often.) I need an answer. All the mothers need an answer.
Wash thy hands: My hands are practically under water for minimum 3 hours a day. So if my son is 2 years 3 months old , it comes to a total of 2460 hours. Of late even his hands seem crinkled for a simple reason I wash them like crazy . Dhote jao Dhote jao. He touches the floor , I wash them. He touches the door ,I wash them. He lays his hands in the fridge or fruits or television remote or mobile. I wash them. I have become paranoid. You and your kin need to be whiplashed, for ocd in me and my kin.
Vaccinations : None , I repeat None has been missed ever. The cherry on the cake, I have googled the new ones too. Any of your brothers and sisters show there signs in Africa, I get my son injected against it in India. How do you defend yourself now.
Mosquitoes: Your distant cousins have forced me to take an agency of mosquito repellent creams. Of course they are your besties, otherwise why would some be a carrier to the likes of you. I plan to kill each of them who lay there nasty hands on my baby. Do pass on the message , newspaper, slippers, sprays, all the weapons are ready, I see you.
Offsprings: Has your community considered birth control , if No then I can suggest a few ways. In a span of 2 months my son has fallen prey to you guys 4 times. And the paediatrician tells me that each time it was a different kind of YOU. Really, is there an ounce of humanity in your milieu. Stop reproducing, you are not doing anyone a favour.
A friendly warning, do you know Hindi, baddua suna hai kabhi. Its kind of a thing where an Indian mother wishes for an awful future for you, conspires with 33 million gods and goddesses and voila! her prophecy comes true. Its not just a moot warning, if you drive me to desperate measures , I wont shrug. So beware.
Waiting for a prompt apology.
Just another mother.